Gardening will kill me

I have just mown the arseing lawn after three weeks of near constant rain,grass was knee-high and lawnmower had to be reset 4,00,000 times.This took two and a half hours.

Only managed to cut three quarters of it anyway and will have to cut the very long edges by hand as I don't like the strimmer;I'm slightly frightened of it and if I cut a frog in half I would never forgive myself.

Why did I ever think that having a 100 foot of garden was a wonderful thing,that I would be growing flowers for cutting and organic veg-because it's bollocks-all I ever grow is grass and weeds.