Monday, 7 September 2009

Day five/six

Day Five
Dunfermline Abbey very important in Scottish history since 12 century.We arrive in Dunfermline before Noon and have to immediately have a cup of tea,as we haven't had one for 35 minutes.Shirley doesn't want one.I convince them to have their lunch at the same time,so all fed and watered we head for the Abbey.
We 'do' the main building and adjoining the main building at the back,is the entrance to the original Abbey,which is a large empty space with beautiful stained-glass windows and a vaulted ceiling-it looks similar to an empty Durham Cathedral.My mum says "This is nice but it's very cold,you'd think they would heat it"I look at her to see if she is joking but she isn't.We have spent around an hour in the Abbey and its environs,when we decide to go to the main shopping area,to shop for a few hours before catching the coach back,this does not please Shirley because she needs a cup of tea.I ask her why she didn't have a cup earlier when we were at lunch,she tells me you must never drink tea after eating soup.I feel like shouting at her but manage not to.Later at the Bus Station,they insist on speaking loudly about a very butch bus driver "Do you think she is a lesbian?"I answer that I don't care I just want her to not be drunk.
"Do you think she is drunk then?"
The look on my face today has mainly been bewildered,with a large amount of despair.

Day Six
Off to Scone Palace-pronounced scoon.I am not a fan of stately homes where the bastards are in residence but they want to see it.Interesting interior,all the panelling,doors and flooring are in a honey coloured Oak,not the usual dark colour.
They are having the guided tour,while I wander off and find a Hogarth drawing,a Wilkie painting and a Reynolds,just thrown casually upon the walls.Dotted about are framed pictures of the current Lord and Lady Muck,with their 'Honourable' children.They all look exactly the same as the paintings of their ancestors-inbred arseholes.
We have to have a cup of fucking tea in the tearoom,only cost 80 quid and then visit the gift shop."Do you want me to buy you a tea towel of the Kings and Queens?"
"It's lovely though,are you sure?"
"It is not lovely and I'm sure"
"What about this nasty piece of jewellery/trinketbox/bookmark?"
"I don't want anything"
"What about this copy of a copy of a copy of a map that may or may not have existed once?"
I bought a penny Whistle for £2.99 and for the next hour entertained myself making an awful noise and enjoyed listening to the feedback from hearing aids.(Not Mick's though,as he forgot his.)I have mainly been Dennis the Menace today.

I have left out the evening meals as they are too dreadful for me to recall,let alone retell.
They are going to Edinburgh on their own tomorrow,let's see how that pans out.

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